Ashley Ltr: 2012-09-24

Hey fam!

Yes I did get dad's journal pages! Seriously dad it was like I was rereading some of my journal entries, we've written almost the exact same thing a few times haha like father like daughter! It's interesting that you said you feel like the work here is about to explode, I've felt the same way, 30 years later, now only if it'll hurry up and happen! That neighborhood party sounds awesome!! I think it should definitely be a yearly tradition!! What a great way to get to know friends and neighbors, no pressure just fun and fellowship, that’s awesome! Tell grandma and grandpa thank you thank you!! Yah just send it to the mission office because I'm not sure if I'll still be here or not, transfers are next week! Holy smokes! This is my last week of training... In some ways I can't believe it and in others it's like I'm only 3 months in sheesh... I try not to think about it that way but some days it seems like I'll be out here forever.

I hate to send a discouraging letter home but that's pretty much what this week has been is discouraging... It's been one of those weeks that I wonder why the heck I'm out here and I feel like it's just a big waste of time. We were really excited about a couple of potential investigators who we were supposed to meet with on Saturday, and one of them was a whole family. They both said they'd be there when we called to confirm and then neither one was there... I was so disappointed. There's been a lot of why's in my prayers. Why would Heavenly Father lead us to these people and then they not even be there? We are working so hard and trying really hard to be exactly obedient but I feel like we're not seeing any success. The other day we were out tracting and the first place we came to an older man was outside and he seemed really friendly at first but then he started Bible bashing us like crazy. Saying crap like God isn't perfect and that the first woman on the earth was Adam. We obviously weren't going to get anywhere with him so we said we had to go and he throws the devil fleeth from righteousness scripture at us and told us to go to hell. Great way to start out the evening eh? Oh man I was so mad, it took all I had not to explode at him and not to cry, he was so mean and heartless and the worst part was that two of his grandkids were there and as we were leaving he tells them that Mormons are of the devil and that he's teaching them this crap makes me so angry because it's effecting an entire generation. Thank goodness that doesn't happen very often but still it hurts, if I didn't know that I'm supposed to be out here and that I'm serving where I'm supposed to I really don't know that I'd still be out here. It wouldn't seem worth it but I DO know and that made it a little easier to stomach.

Also I know I haven't talked a whole lot about Roy but we've been working with him ever since I got here, and we had to do a drop lesson with him this week. Wow that was hard. It was my first one and it really took all I had not to start crying. He knows the gospel is true and the Book of Mormon but he won't stop smoking so since he's no longer progressing we had to drop him. It makes me sick that a stupid cigarette has so much control over a person. He wasn't bitter or angry about it though and he still calls us each night to make sure we're okay and he came to church yesterday. We talked a lot about eternal families and the temple and the sealing power that can only happen there and last night he asked a lot of questions about it, so it might not happen while I'm out here but I really think he'll eventually have that desire to quit and will be baptized.

On a brighter note Christy was a lot happier when we went to see her this week. She's not ready to get baptized right now but hopefully with time she'll be ready too, and her husband sat in on the lesson which was a first! Now if we can only get him to come to church.

In answer to some of your questions... We pray with people on their doorstep when we feel prompted to, it's a cool experience it always leaves a smile on the peoples faces. Yes we're still doing bingo, I love it!! Those people make my day! No it's not really humid anymore at least not right now but it is getting cold! At night especially... I might freeze to death this winter in a skirt! Yah I'm getting a lot more comfortable with door approaches, and I'm not sure how the teachings going yet cuz it feels like forever since we have taught anybody... Sister Walker gave me a really great compliment though. She told me how much I've grown in the past 3 months and loves that when I put my mind to something I get it done, she said I've been a strength to her when getting to know members because that's something she really struggles with. She doesn't give compliments very often so it made me feel good. :)

It sounds like things are going great at home! Congrats on the wins Brooker and Jace! And Madi I just love you and your smiling face!! I'm excited to hear about the dance Court! I hope the letter comes soon. That's so exciting you get to go to the first session mom!! I'm so excited to go to that temple. I did send you a letter Brooke and pictures did y’all not get them?? I'll have to see what happened there... Well I better wrap up. Sorry this letter isn't as positive as some of the others, but hopefully this week will be better! I love and miss you all!! xoxoxo

Love,

Sister Bedke :)

Ashley Ltr: 20012-09-17

Hey fam!

Thanks for the letter! It sounds like everything is going great at home! Court!! I'm so excited for you!! I better be getting pictures in the next e-mail! Have fun! Mom and dad Happy (late) Anniversary! I'm so glad you had a good day! I love you guys!! Yah I'll ask Sister Cox if she can put a little something together for me. When we were at her house I was looking through the book and inside there were wedding announcements from different missionaries. And guess who was in there?? Bro Nay who used to live down the street! I'm like 99% sure it was them, his name was Russell and her name was Amanda and it looked just like her, they got married in 2000. Does that sound about right? Anyway it was way cool!! If you can ask them if they remember Eddie and Rose Ann Cox. We have district meetings every Thursday and yes it was one of the Elders who gave me the blessing. :)

I think we're going to drop Josh, he avoids us when we try to visit and always makes up an excuse as to why he can't come to church at the last second and he always asks us for money. Its frustrating and we've tried everything we can, its sad because he was so ready but maybe later... And Christy isn't doing any better either. She is still very depressed and told us she's had suicidal thoughts. It's sad but I don't know how much we can do to help her either... :( Evon has cancelled on us the last two times so I don't know that anything is going to happen there either. We did have a cool experience a couple of days ago though we were out tracting with a member and we get to this house and we explain to the guy who we are and he says let me get my wife. So she comes to the door and we explain again and teach her a little bit about the restoration on her doorstep. She didn't seem all that interested at first but we asked if we could leave her with a prayer and after we said it she was crying and told us she felt something and knew that God sent us to her that day. She said she'd come to church yesterday but didn't end up coming... :( BUT we do have an appointment with her this weekend. Hopefully something will happen there. -Side note: As I'm sitting here a HUGE rainstorm just started!! I've never seen that much rain in my life! It's just like a big wall of water!

While our work with investigators isn't going so hot right now, we have been able to get in touch with several less active families. We found one guy a Brother Hayes who hasn't been to church in over 50 years, and hasn't had any contact with the church in over 6 years, because no one has tried. He was pretty shocked when we came to the door but we had a really good talk and he said we really got him thinking about how he needs to get back into church. Him and his wife just got custody of 2 great grandkids and he wants them to be raised in the church. So that was awesome! If I do nothing but help reactivate people I really will be happy with that. There's also another couple the Harrisons, at first they were very reserved but we helped Sister Harrison with some yard work on Saturday and Bro Harrison works at a carpet mill and we expressed an interest in seeing how it all works and now he's going to set up a tour for us. So the walls are slowly coming down, they like us. :)

We had our bi-zone conference this week with the Knoxville zone, Elder Foster from the quorum of the 70 came and spoke (he's from Rigby and knows grandma and grandpa!). It was an awesome conference, President and Sister Irion are the best. So loving and so dedicated to moving the work forward here, their energy and enthusiasm rubs off on me and makes me want to become a better missionary. They talked a lot about working with the members and that is where the real magic happens, I just wish that was happening more. Please look and pray for missionary opportunities all of you, those people are out there and really its only through the members that this work will move forward.

I can hardly believe Taylor is already coming home! That did go by pretty fast. I hope he gets feeling better soon, being sick is no fun period and when you're on the mission it's even worse. I've been getting a lot of headaches lately, sometimes they're so bad I have to lay down for an hour or so it's awful. I think I need to drink more water... But the water here is nasty! Oh well I'll just suck it up and do it.

Things with Sister Walker and I really are going pretty good. :) She really is a sweetheart just not a good people person haha. I enjoy working with her now though, we probably only have 2 more weeks together which is way weird to think about... Can you believe I've almost been out here 3 months! Sometimes it feels like it's gone by crazy fast and other days it feels like I've been out here forever... But I really do enjoy it most days. Working with the members has definitely been my favorite part so far, it's awesome to work with people who really do have the desire to move the work forward.

About the coat, yah I like that one. Probably do the medium just to be on the safe side, I do have long arms. I guess last winter here well there wasn't one really haha but the winter before that I guess was wayyyyy cold! They said it's like no matter how many layers you put on that humidity still seeped right through.. awesome. And I don't care which color you get black or red, surprise me! Thanks for the suggestion about the spirit of Elijah dad, I'll have to study up on that for sure! Also any luck with finding a gps? I know the garmin brand is good. I gotta get going. Keep the letters coming! I love and miss you all!! xoxoxoxo

Love,

Sister Bedke :)

Ashley Ltr: 2012-09-10

Hellooooooooo family!

It sounds like things are going just great there at home! And peach days sounds way fun! I'm excited to go when I get back. That fireside you were talking about sounds awesome! I've come to realize truly how important family history work is, and there is SO MUCH to be done! I was wondering though we had a less active lady in the ward ask us (she is huge into family history) say someone was married multiple times and had children with each of those spouses, how are you supposed to know which person to seal them to and where to seal the kids? All I could tell her is it's one of those things that we don't have to worry about because our Savior will work it all out in the next life. That was easy for me to say cuz I haven't ever had to worry about that but for her this is a legitimate concern, she was married twice and had kids with both husbands and she said she knows she needs to trust that Heavenly Father will take care of it all but it's something she worries about a lot. I know a lot of it comes down to faith but is there something that's been taught concerning that subject? There are so many questions people ask that I'm like man I've never even thought of that before...

This week has been rough teaching wise, but great growing and learning wise!  We found out that Josh is in some kind of rehab hospital for who knows how long and not really sure what for either. He seems so sincere when we talk to him he says he still wants to get baptized and that he's reading the Book of Mormon but then his actions are speaking a lot louder than his words. I just don't know what to do... And Christy oh boy... We haven't been able to get a hold of her since last time her daughter called telling us she had a mental break down. So we decided to go drop in on her. When we walked in there was just a depressing feeling when you walked in, her walls used to be filled with pictures of her family but when we got there everything on the walls was taken down. We asked her what was going on and she told us that her daughter just moved out to live with her boy friend, I guess Christy flipped out about it and they haven't really talked since. So now she is super depressed. We have an appt with her on Wednesday so hopefully we can get a better picture of what’s going on but I have no idea what to tell someone who is going through stuff like this!! Thinking about it stresses me out so bad. There will be a lot of heart felt prayers said in her behalf so we can know how to help her. It just breaks my heart what some people go through and how families treat each other. I am so grateful for you guys, my wonderful family, who has always been there to support me through the thick and thin and who I know will always be there for me. I really have been so blessed!! Also I'm so grateful that I had the privilege to be raised in the gospel, I used to sometimes take for granted being raised in the church but NEVER again will I have that mind set. It's a gift we've been given that really a lot of people don't know anything about and yet for some reason we were blessed to be born into the covenant. And it's our responsibility to share that gift we have with all those around us!

Exchanges went great! Sister Mickelson and I found 2 new investigators that day and taught a lot of lessons, it was an awesome day! When we switched back I was so excited to tell Sister Walker about the success we'd had. Her response though was cool. That's it. I was so hurt, she didn't even care about the success we'd had. She also came back really bossy, treating me like I was 5 years old it really annoyed me and made me mad that she all of a sudden started treating me like this. The next morning I told her how I was feeling because I knew I couldn't be feeling like this towards her or we wouldn't be effective. I was very honest (I'm getting so much better at expressing myself and my feelings, it's something I've prayed for a lot and I'm getting a lot better) and she sincerely apologized for acting that way towards me. She said it's the way she is sometimes and she knows she needs to work on it so she asked me to tell her whenever she's acting that way. I was glad that she was willing to listen and didn't get mad or offended because by what I'd said. I asked for a blessing after district meeting and was brought a lot of peace and comfort from it. It talked a lot about how the Lord is very pleased with my service and that I'm where I am supposed to be it also mentioned a few things from my patriarchal blessing. The priesthood is amazing! :)

We finally got in touch with a few less actives in the ward that we've trying to see for weeks. We had good visits with both of them and they both invited us back. I guess the one couple, the Harrisons, haven't let missionaries in their home for over 3 years so that was a little miracle right there! We're also working a lot with a family Brandy and Kris Arhart who were recently baptized and Kris's mom Lisa Hamilton. They are an AWESOME family!!! Ahh I just love them, we always have so much fun and have really good discussions about the gospel. Lisa was baptized a long time ago but totally for the wrong reasons and hasn't been active since but she's seen the difference the gospel has made in Kris's life and wants to retake the missionary discussions. She has come to church the past 3 weeks in a row and loves it. The gospel really does change lives!

For p day today we're finally going with Sister Cox from the ward (the one who wanted all the pictures to put in the Dalton ward history book) to the Joseph Standing memorial and so I can finally see that book! There have been a few more people I've talked to dad that remember you! I can't remember if I told you this last week but Sister Turner said to tell you hello and she just thinks it’s incredible that I'm now here serving! I LOVE this ward!! The people here are incredible and I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to work with them and learn from them. They strengthen my testimony so much, I always look forward to Sunday now!

Being a missionary is incredible. Hard and discouraging sometimes, but if I don't convert anyone while serving (which won't happen!!) but if it doesn't, I myself have become fully converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this gospel is true and I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father has given me the opportunity to serve Him and come to these realizations for myself and for the effect this will have on me and my future family. The Book of Mormon really is the word of God, another testament of Jesus Christ and I have come to love it so much and really look forward to studying from it everyday. Woohoo the gospel is amazing!!!!! :) :) :)

I gotta wrap up. Thanks for all the letters this week! I love hearing from y’all! Love and miss you!! xoxoxo

Sister Bedke

p.s. Sorry I guess I forgot to mention that Sister Walker didn't end up losing her driving privileges because the damage to the car was less than $500 or something like that so for now she's still the driver... :/ Pray for me!!

Ashley Ltr: 2012-09-04

Hola mi familia!

So good to hear from y'all!  It sounds like things are going great at home!  That's so fun you had all the cousins there hanging out.  How is Alexa liking school so far?  It's kinda cool all of them are going to school in Utah so they can all get together a lot more often!  Yes I did get the package!!  Thank you, thank you!  I loved the shirt and the letters from the family, that was awesome and it has now become my pj shirt, it feels like I'm getting hugs from the family every time I wear it, I love it!  And thanks for the cookies Brooker, they of course were the bomb.  And I totally called that picture of Baylee also the article about U Matt's friend.  It was funny Sister Walker was like do you know everyone in Utah?  haha.

This week has been so so...  We reset a baptism date for Josh but then he skipped out on church again so I don't know what the deal is there.  And Christy she was all set for Saturday but (it seems like there's always a but lately...) then we were visiting with her a few days before and she shared with us that she wants to know the person that would be baptizing her before because the idea of not knowing someone and having them touch her absolutely terrified her to death.  Putting two and two together I think she was sexually abused when she was younger and has a very hard time trusting men or anybody really since then.  So we had originally planned on the bishop performing the baptism and we arraigned it so that he could come out and meet her but then we got a call from her daughter saying that she has strep throat and had a mental break down and wasn't up to seeing anybody... :( I just really hope that she hasn't worried herself sick over the baptism...  We're planning on seeing her tomorrow to see what's going on.  She has gotten close with a couple in the ward the McKenney's they are 88 and 90 years old and still kickin!  Originally we assumed that Bro McKenney couldn't baptize her cuz he's so old but he told us "Of course I can!!  It's in the water so it'll be easy."  Haha they are awesome!  So maybe that'll lessen her fears.

We've started working with a very less active Lisa Hamilton, she recently moved in with her son and daughter in law who are recent converts.  She got baptized for the wrong reasons a long time ago but now she has seen the differences that the gospel has made in her sons life and knows that she needs to make some changes.  She is very open and asks a lot of questions, she is great and it'll be fun to get to work with her more through the weeks.  We're also still working with Evon Turner who I told you about last week and her grandkids, we've gone twice now and she wants us to keep coming.  Her biggest thing right now is getting up in the morning to come to church...  But I know if she'd just do it once she'd love it!  Her grandkids Haley and Avery are way cute and LOVE having us come over :).  Her husband kinda listened the first time we were there but this time he just worked out on his truck.  Other than that we haven't really found any real investigators.  I feel like the work here is just waiting to explode we just have to look long and hard for those who are ready for it.

Yesterday we went and had dinner with a Spanish family who spoke ZERO English.  We went with a couple of the Elders who tried translating for us but it was hard.  Then all of a sudden he looks at me and was like will you explain this principle, totally caught me way off guard so I tried but he was talking over me in Spanish and I just couldn't focus on what I was saying haha pretty sure I looked like an idiot.  Luckily they were all members but I was really wishing I knew Spanish.  Yesterday we also were able to get in touch with a very less active couple in the ward, Sister Walker was very surprised that they let us in, but we had a really good visit with them and they invited us back, which is a good sign!  But when we invited them to church she told us flat out no, she couldn't sit that long and dropped the subject...  Some people I just don't understand.  There is nothing that says you have to sit the whole time get up and walk around if you have too.  Sheesh...  To answer your question about fast Sunday, they're awesome here!  So many strong testimonies and some interesting ones too haha, there really never is a dull moment in this ward.

Today we are on exchanges with Signal Mountain, I stayed behind this time and I'm working with Sister Mickelson again.  So I'm the missionary in charge for 24 hours!  :/  I'm excited but nervous, but I finally get to drive and not have to be worried for my life when I get in the car!  :)

I'm so happy to hear that Gina is doing better!  That is amazing!  And that things are going well for you as bishop, dad.  I really do have a whole new love and respect for any bishop, they are all amazing and do such an amazing work.  Thanks for the letters Court and Jacer man, I loved them.  I think that's about all for the week.  I love and miss you all.  God bless!  xoxoxo

Sister Bedke

p.s.  Can I get the recipe for our corn bread and muddy buddies por favor?

p.s.s.  My feet are finally callousing (is that a word??) up!!  So they're not nearly as sore thank heaven!!  So I haven't used the oils yet but if it happens again I definitely will.